I See You
In the morning before I wake up your light shines in my window.
When I roll over to check the time your light glistens upon my face.
I sit up and stretch and thank you for your grace of another living day.
When my feet touch the hard wood floors I'm thankful that I am able to walk.
Feeling the grooves underneath my toes, an imperfect floor with an imperfect human.
Imperfect but it still holds weight, just like broken crayons that still color. Bright.
As I make my way to the living room I am greeted with joy, a wagging tail that never stops.
I ponder and think of the joy you get when we come to you. Humbled.
No matter the time or length you are still there joyful that we came. Mercy and Grace.
We make our way outside and I just breathe in the fresh air.
It smells extra fresh with fresh cut grass my husband cut the night before.
My favorite scent in the world. Rain comes pretty close.
I close my eyes and face the sun and just let it warm me up.
Listening to the birds chirp and sing. And I ponder on this verse : (Matthew 6:26)
~Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your
heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
I make my way inside and make breakfast for myself and the dog and we pray together.
I remember in the beginning she couldn't comprehend, but now she wont eat unless we say
Amen.
After we eat she sits close by attentively.
It’s as if she's waiting for something, an invitation.
I reflect on the times I tried life without you, you were just waiting to be invited in.
But still I sinned. Redeemed.
I used to think I had to be a certain way before I came to you, stepping foot inside a church.
Truth is you didn't care how I was, you just wanted me. Come as you are.
Me and all my baggage.
Baggage, Baggage, Baggage.
Man did I have a lot of baggage, but you still received me with open arms. Forgiven.
When my marriage was falling apart - you were there.
When I was drinking and doing drugs - you were there.
When we were homeless and couch surfing - you were there.
When we didn’t have food in the fridge - you were there.
When my health just seemed to always decline - You Were There.
From the beginning you have always been there.
I didn't see it then, but I see it now.
Your hand has always been there just waiting for me to grab it.
I finally smartened up. Submitted.
I know you'll never let me go.
For you love me and make me whole.
Your daughter has come home.